inFAMOUS (fuCKING reTARDED tiTLE giMMIC)

I like demos. In most instances they are an accurate portrayal of the experience you can expect from a game. inFAMOUS' demo did not impress me. I just didn't get it. Sure the platforming was nice, being on autopilot and all, the graphics looked good and the powers seemed interesting. As a whole however, I wasn't compelled to check this game out despite great reviews and a large portion of my friends playing it.

Fast forward to Christmas and a good friend of mine gave me inFAMOUS for this most jolly of holidays. Not being a jerk and all, I decided to put aside my tainted first impression and start anew with this title. Here is the breakdown:

1. You play as Cole McGrath. For some reason this name just strikes me as stupid; it sounds like a trucker who spends his free time chiseling chess pieces from collected chunks of fossilized dinosaur shit. How about Eldridge Bondre or Buck Litzenberger? Both of those names are a thousand more times interesting and believable. It doesn't help that his best friend and eventual betrayer (oops did I spoil a plot point you would see coming from the first 5 minutes of gameplay?) is named Zeke (no last name needed). I am sure it would have taken far to long to think up a last name half as good as Cole McGrath.

2. This game does a decent job of making you trudge around at slow speeds and then eventually rewarding your patience at regular intervals with powers that make getting around a lot more enjoyable. The rail sliding combo'd with hovering abilities are particularly satisfying.

3. This game features a morality aspect. Like most games it is completely arbitrary and doesn't make the player feel like they are making any kind of moral decision. Plus it succeeds in making every encounter a purely black or white scenario. Overall the concept would have been much cooler if they would have just taking all of that out of the player's face and made subtle changes to the character and dialogue to hint at what path you were headed down. This is compounded by the lack of incentive to be neutral anywhere in the game. If you dabble in both good and evil exercises you just end up losing out on the full experience in the end.

4. The story is mediocre... until the last 10 minutes of the game where it has a brilliant facet that comes out of nowhere. WHY WOULD THEY BURY THIS IN POINTLESS ZAPPING JUST TO FIND OUT WHAT IT ALL MEANS AS YOU PUT DOWN THE CONTROLLER? (sigh) The concept is really cool looking back but the game still lacks any redeeming features to make me want to go back through to see the 2 different lines of dialogue I could hear if I play through as a hero. (Yes I played though as the villain)

5. The game ends on a "we are totally going to make a sequel so you can start saving your pennies 'cause this is a franchise now bitch!" cliffhanger. Seriously you beat the game and the last thing it says is "Now I was finally ready to face the greatest challenge of all... this huge thing that is so awesome we haven't even thought of it yet." I hate, I hate, I HATE this. If you are going to have any loose ends, make them subtle, don't shove it in my face and then circle it three times with a red sharpie. Especially not with a new IP.

In summary this game is like a date with a cute girl that says mostly annoying stuff but tells a good joke, then spills a drink on you but flashes you a single tit as she is climbing out of your car.

I give this game 22 dinosaur shit chess pieces out of 32.

Total play time: approximately 22 hours completing all side missions